The fact I am even writing about myself with an eating disorder still surprises me, never did i think that a diet would turn into over a decade of struggling with body image and a dangerous relationship with food. On the outside, yes i just look like an ordinary mum of two gorgeous boys and a wife to my amazing husband. But I suppose it is really true what they say….You should never judge a book by its cover.
I have lived with an eating disorder for 10 years. But I can honestly say that I am the best that I have ever been mentally with learning to deal with it. Most importantly, I can recognise my problems now and I am no longer embarrassed or scared to ask for help – which for me is huge. Rewind 8 years and I was in a totally different place. With size 6 clothes being loose; abusing laxatives and also being sick daily, I didn’t care about what harm I was doing to myself and I definitely didn’t think I needed help. It took an operation and a lot of A&E visits for me to realise that I had a problem.
If I have learnt one thing from this, it’s that honesty is definitely the best policy. I tell my husband everything – if I am having a bad day or if I have had a relapse because with ED the worst thing you can do is let it be your secret. It’s easier to make yourself believe there isn’t a problem than admitting to yourself that you need help. ED is a serious illness and we should not be ashamed to talk about our struggles. By writing my journey, if i can help just one person to be more honest about their problems, then I’ll be happy with that.